Archive for February, 2010
Interesting!
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010
For those of you who may not understand or believe what we are up against PLEASE watch this! http://www.youtube.com/user/christinemoers#p/u/15/p_8ZPnIN7CA
It is really a miss fire…. a communication gap! I am so grateful to this mother and her beautiful daughter!
WE HAVE HOPE!
Sage
Finding HOPE!
Monday, February 15th, 2010I’m back…. life has been way to painful to write about! I am finding hope and Faith though! The road we as a family have been on has been full of JOY and some huge BUMPS!
Right now I don’t have the brain power to go to back and catch up so lets just start with today!
Frazer had Horse therapy today! I was not a believer at first but now I know that this is where both of our hearts have begun to heal! Here watch this video… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTx8Ct43wPQ . In case you didn’t know Frazer was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder or RADS! Frazer’s behaviors are very similar to this little girl in the clip. I was finding myself at a very BAD place with her! I have been drowning in gilt, anger, regret, hopelessness and complete confusion! On days where I would have to be her mother for a whole day it would be a complete mess! I felt COMPLETLY CRAZY! Her crazy lies and blank stares left ME feeling completely out of control! I wasn’t in control and Frazer knew it! In order for her to feel some sense of safety and “control” she had to “control” everything about ME! Seeing a pattern here? Sure she would control everyone else but I was her main target. What sucked the most was that everyone else saw her controlling as cutie and gave her credit for being so young or being from Ethiopia. I would beat myself up so often because I felt like “why can’t I see her this way” she is darling… but she treats me so terrible! Steve was having a hard time figuring out what was going on. He thought his wife was CRAZY! He knew she didn’t make him COMPLETLY crazy but he also knew he didn’t like being around her. Here are some really great resources for RADS… http://www.findinghopefoundation.com/
In the mist of hopelessness I was invited to attend a seminar given by the mom in that clip Jodi Bean! At first I was just hoping to find info about trama and the brain. I thought I knew enough about RADs to know that Frazer might have RADS but no way was she full blown RADS! Midway through that seminar I KNOW we were all in so much trouble! Everything I has over looked and chalked up to “culture” “age” and a “girl thing” were all RADS! I frantically wrote down numbers of therapists, other families and tips to try at home. I was feeling relived that there was hope but scared to death to begin reaching out and moving forward. Crazy thing was now I “got” Frazer but she scared me more !
So it took me a few days to reach out for help but after she sat in front of a uneaten bowl of oatmeal for 45 minutes LICKING THE SPOON! I know I needed take a HUGE leap for this whole family! So I made a call and we went in that day to “chat” with a specialist in RADS! It only took her 4 minutes and LOTS of anger from Frazer to confirm what I already knew… Definitely RADS! You have to understand that until that very day I had NEVER witnessed Frazer be anything but HAPPY! Yes that would be 11 months of HAPPY! Crazy…. hu?! Now we have started incorporating the Horse therapy and I LOVE it! They even got me up on a horse and I cried like a baby! I guess I have some deep stuff to work out on my end too!
This process so far has been a complete gift from GOD! Not only are we finding the right help for Frazer to heal her hurting heart but I have also found that I to have a hurting heart! I am so very grateful that the Lord trusted Steve and I to raise and influence Frazer. Heavenly Father blessed me 16 years ago with a wonderful Husband… Steve has been OUR rock! I know without a single question (now) that Frazer and I knew each otherin the life before this one! That we must have made a deal that we would find each other and help each other heal!
So there you go….
Hey… I should tell you that Maya is potty trained and going to a preschool she loves it so much! Avery is 13 now doing great in school and still loves Soccer… o’ ya and he playes the flute! Ethan is a wonderful brother he helps me so much. He loves school and is doing wonderfully! Isaac is in a great class at school, still loves soccer and he rocks! Owen loves school and he has the same teacher Ethan had in 2nd grade! What a great kid! Steve is still working on his Masters, work is good and he is still coaching soccer! Me…. well I am greatfull I still have 6 children cuz there were days I thought about calling CPS myself! Really I’m good and looking forward to this next year of self discovery and forgiveness!
Love you all
Sage